Fearless vs. Wishful Mindset

What’s Holding Us Back?

When I used to get on a horse, I would hope for a good ride. I’d think, “I just want it to go well today.” I wanted the horse to behave. I wanted to feel in control. I wanted to get off feeling like we’d had a productive session.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

But that kind of thinking is what I now call a wishful mindset, and for a long time, I didn’t realize how much it was holding me back.

The shift happened during a conversation with Gabriel Borges, one of the most talented horsemen I know, and someone I’m lucky to work with. I was telling him about a tricky three-year-old I was riding. Talented, but tough. I was frustrated that our rides felt inconsistent.

He asked, “What’s the goal of your ride?”

I said, “To ride well, to stay out of trouble, and not make stupid mistakes.”

He smiled, took a second, and then said: “That’s your problem.”

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

Gabe helped me realize that I was riding with the hope that things would go smoothly. I wanted a clean, drama-free session so I could feel like I was making progress. But that mindset meant I was avoiding the uncomfortable moments; the places where real learning actually happens.

What I needed wasn’t hope. It was bravery. The willingness to seek out what wasn’t working. The courage to ride into the hole, not around it.

That’s the difference between a wishful mindset and a fearless mindset.

And here’s the thing: fear doesn’t always show up as panic or anxiety. Sometimes it hides in “playing it safe.” Sometimes it looks like avoiding mistakes. Or skipping the hard part. Or focusing on “fixing” instead of learning.

Fearless horsemanship doesn’t mean you don’t feel fear, it means you’re not ruled by it. You’re willing to explore the edges of your comfort zone, knowing that’s where real progress lives.

So I’ll ask you what Gabe asked me: What’s the goal of your ride?

Are you riding to get a good feeling - or riding to improve?

If you’re ready to strengthen your mindset alongside your horsemanship, come join us inside the Mental Athletics coaching community. It’s where we train fearlessness—one thought, one ride, one moment at a time.