Practice Mentality

"Allow Yourself to Be the Weakest Surfer in the Room"

We all want to win. But the true process of winning rarely begins under the bright lights of the arena. It starts in the daily grind of the practice pen. To reach the top of any competitive field, you have to commit to being a relentless learner. Real growth demands the discipline to seek out discomfort, because that is where genuine personal development happens. It means dropping the ego, stepping away from the need to look perfect, and giving yourself permission to practice ugly. But maintaining that learner's mindset is easier said than done, especially when pride gets in the way. I had to learn this lesson the hard way - not in the saddle, but out in the ocean.

My best friend and I share a deep love for surfing. He’s a natural athlete with a fierce competitive streak, and over time, our shared hobby morphed into a secret, unspoken competition. Every session became a battle of who was progressing faster. This hidden tension hijacked my mentality. I became highly reactive to his progress, and whenever I had a bad wave, I was incredibly hard on myself. The essence of surfing - enjoyment and connection - was replaced by a desperate need to prove I was better.

As a result, my surfing actually got worse. Because my focus was constantly on looking better than my friend. I lost my willingness to embrace the messy, imperfect parts of learning. I stopped enjoying the sport altogether. To break this toxic cycle, I decided I needed an anchor. Every time I paddled out and felt that competitive state creeping in, I told myself one simple phrase: "Allow yourself to be the weakest surfer in the room."

Since adopting that mindset, I have felt a profound sense of freedom. A freedom to practice, learn, and improve. Stripped of the pressure to beat someone else, my surfing has progressed exponentially. It is no longer about being the best in the water; it is simply about becoming a better version of myself every single day, and I am finally enjoying the ride again.

What I understood from the ocean translates directly to the arena. There is absolutely zero room for competitive energy in the practicing process. If you want to learn, your goal in that moment isn't to be better, it's to understand what you can improve.

I am fortunate to work alongside some amazing horsemen and elite competitors, and one of the most impressive traits I see in them is that they are relentless learners. Yes, they are highly competitive, and with so much on the line, the pressure to succeed is constant. But in their inner circle of improvement, both in their own minds and when we work together on their performance approach,they intentionally allow themselves to show weakness.

They lean into the discomfort of their weaknesses, whether that lies in their horsemanship, their preparation, or their personal discipline. The biggest differentiator I see in these top-tier athletes is their ability to create a clear, rigid distinction in their minds between when it is time to practice and when it is time to perform. They know that in the practice pen, you have to let go of perfection. Letting yourself fall into the trap of trying to "win" a practice session just prevents you from making the mistakes you desperately need to learn from.

Simply being competitive will never help you become a winner. Instead, be a horseman who is invested in channeling a high level of learning into high performance. That will ensure you become competitive in whatever game you choose to play, whether you are a professional or an amateur. Whether you’re in the arena dirt or riding a wave.

A Practical Tool for Your Next Ride

Here is a practical tool you can start using today: Build your own go-to mantra.

Find a phrase that instantly pops into your head to remind you that now is the time to practice. A mantra. It can be similar to mine: “Allow yourself to be the weakest rider in the room.” It can be to “practice ugly” or something else.

Let this mantra ground you and set you free to learn. Use it to heighten your awareness of your weak spots. Let it open you up to accepting criticism, absorbing external feedback, and trusting your own internal insights so you can make the necessary adjustments.

Keep that mindset all the way through your process. This journey isn't just about your next ride, next week's training, or the next horse show. It is a marathon. It is a lifelong pursuit of improvement, of embracing the discipline required to learn, and of becoming a better form of ourselves, one day at a time, one ride at a time.